First things first: You don't need to tell everyone in your life about your piss kink. And you absolutely shouldn't unless you have a sexual/romantic connection to them or are extremely open about sexual topics with them already. Consider whether you'd want to know something insanely personal about each individual's sex life you're considering telling--something you maybe find a little gross or repulsive--and then weigh the pros and cons of disclosing it to them.
Even with your long-term romantic partner there is no pressing need to tell them unless you require that they participate in it with you. Of course you CAN tell them, but it's not immoral to keep it to yourself either. While honesty is generally the best policy in life, that's not necessarily the case with fetishes and kinks, which are highly specific and unique to the individual. There are some things we're just better off not knowing about people & for probably 97% of your loved ones, this falls into that category. I also see people who assume they MUST tell their therapist when they're not even in therapy for anything relating to sex or fetishes, which is just flat-out not true. That said, if you feel a need or strong desire to "unburden" yourself about this secret to someone in your real life, a therapist would probably be your safest bet. They're the least likely to be judgmental, out you to other people in your social/work circle or otherwise jeopardize your important relationships. In fact, for them to do so would be unethical. As long as you're not breaking any laws they have to keep it confidential and remain professional and kind in dealing with it.
If you've decided to tell a close loved one and are simply at a loss for how to go about it, I can tell you what's worked best for me. You may prefer a more direct approach which is fine. It also depends on your dynamic with that individual: what works with, say, a good friend may not be appropriate for a sister-in-law or lover. You'll need to be mindful of your tone & presentation and tailor it to each person and situation.
Defining Your WHY
Understanding your goal before heading into battle is vital. Is it to get this off your chest by confiding in someone who'll give honest feedback? To get them to participate in it with you? Have them humiliate you? Do you really not care about their reaction so much as getting it off your chest?* Whatever your end goal, clearly laying it out beforehand will help you gauge how much info is too much and how much is just the right amount to share to obtain the desired result.
The HOW
How you spill the beans is very important
The format in which you disclose something secret like this is really important. You want to avoid written/typed formats as they leave behind physical evidence that can be saved & used against you at a later date. That means no texting, private messaging, written notes or similar. Communicate it face-to-face where only you and the other individual can hear what's being said.
With my now-ex, I never came out and said in so many words "I enjoy peeing myself" but she somehow could tell by the way I acted/reacted to piss-related topics. This was enough for her to take it upon herself to pee all over me during sex without warning early in our relationship. Another time she wet her pants on top of me, and another time she peed in my hand in the hot tub. This was as much as I could hope for from someone with no personal attraction to this lifestyle. I never had to go through the horrid discomfort of disclosing or "dropping the bomb" and saying something I couldn't take back, I was just true to myself and didn't hide my love of wetting/piss.
Back in high school, I had a very conservative, sheltered friend who had never had sex or even masturbated. I once dropped a heavy hint by telling her that whoever's soccer team lost the big game would have to pee their pants. Well she was DISGUSTED by this and of course refused! But the seed had been planted: a few months later when she was doing my makeup, she dared me to sit on the toilet and piss in front of her. Another time when our toilet was broken she told me to pee in our bathroom sink while she watched. This was so out of character I know that my little "suggestion" had turned her on and got the wheels turning, and again I never had to "confess" to anything! (I was too shy to pee in front of her either time, dammit. I majorly regret this now).
The WHEN/WHERE
Telling your entire friend group before 1st period = not a great idea.
Time and place are everything. Try to be as natural as possible and don't force the issue at an awkward time. Maybe you've had a few drinks and are both in a light, silly mood. Perhaps you're already discussing sex-related or embarrassing topics, or deep/dark secrets you've never told a soul. Maybe a game of Truth or Dare or "Never Have I Ever" is taking place. Could be that your friend just disclosed something uber-personal about her current sex life or partner & you want to "match" her with a crazy story of your own. These are all acceptable environments to disclose something like this. Church, a McDonald's Playplace or super-fancy public art museum? Generally NOT acceptable.
Or maybe you could frame it as a question: "What do you think about peeing in the context of sex?" "Ever dated someone with a piss kink?" You could even fib and say you have dated someone who enjoyed pee/wetting if that would make it easier to break the ice. Just be sure to have your story straight before going down that path so you don't get tripped up. Maybe consider discussing OTHER common kinks first or in addition, such as BDSM, foot fetishes or cuckolding to gauge their reaction.
The WHO
WHO you tell is the most important detail
This is the big one. Telling the wrong person/people could be catastrophic for your social life, your reputation or even your career. You only want to confide something like this in a person you trust not to blab to others AND who's open-minded enough that, even if they find it personally off-putting, they won't drop you like a hot potato or retaliate in some other way. Telling a casual acquaintance you haven't known more than a year, a co-worker you don't hang with outside work, a boss, your parents or anyone who leans socially conservative is generally a BAD idea, and not always in ways you can readily predict.
Something like this should be reserved for romantic/sexual partners you may want to engage in the practice with; sex therapists or couples' counselors you're seeing specifically for issues related to sex and trusted long-term friends with open minds. That's really about all. People who have confided deeply embarrassing or personal info to you or who aren't ashamed to get down and dirty with the sex chat who you can really trust to keep a secret. If you're unsure, err on the side of not disclosing. This is one of those big things you can't take back once it's said so be damn sure you want to say it. And always pay close attention to the person's reaction (tone of voice, facial expressions, what they say, body language, etc). If they seem truly uncomfortable, change the subject and don't bring it up again. This is another reason it's so important to only tell people you truly know inside and out: you want to be able to gauge if they're taking it well or freaking out inside.
The average person OVERreacts to all things urine, considering it unsanitary and "gross" when it's really no more dirty than tears or saliva in terms of disease transmission risk. Facts and figures don't do much to combat a lifetime of myths & social attitudes, sadly. While you may know the truth and be desensitized to all things pee, the average uneducated Joe Blow is more likely to overreact than under react, so keep that in mind. (Some highly educated folks who should know better overreact, so the bias affects more than just the uneducated). Maybe consider leading with things you DON'T do involving pee, such as drinking it or pissing on unwilling peoples' faces or something. "Piss kink" can mean many things to many people so be specific: if peeing your pants is what gets you off, say so.
Times are changing and attitudes toward sexual fetishes of all types are softening, but that's more of a general thing. It's something else entirely to definitively state that YOU have a specific paraphilia. If you're planning to tell someone, make sure you trust them and that you do so in a tactful manner that takes their comfort into consideration because once said, these things can't be taken back. 💛
* Even if you don't care how the other person reacts, take into consideration their FEELINGS about the disclosure. Try not to tell someone who truly wouldn't want to know or who would be disturbed by it. People have a right not to know things that would make their living situations uncomfortable--for instance a sibling or friend living in the same house. With this in mind, only disclose your fetish and activities to those it would be appropriate to tell, such as a potential romantic partner or very close long-time friend. And if you're 18+, make sure the person you're confiding in is too.
Have you ever disclosed your wetting fetish to a close loved one or acquaintance? How did it go?
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