Public Urination: (Still) A Crime in Every State

 

Yep, this is a real sign.  Depressing.  

As women, we've all been a bit envious of guys who can "whip it out" and relieve themselves anytime, anywhere.  But it's important to remember that doing so is a crime in every state.  Getting ticketed for "disorderly conduct" is the best case scenario--in 13 states you can actually end up on the sex offender registry for public urination.  These charges include things like 'lewdness' or 'indecent exposure' and require the defendant to register as a sex offender for a set amount of time.  If minors are present, charges can be even more serious.  These offenses can follow you for life, impacting your ability to move about freely, be gainfully employed & exercise certain rights like traveling internationally or obtaining student loans.

But back to the 'disorderly conduct' charge which is more common:  if a cop spots you unzipping your pants SANS any genital exposure or actual urination, they can still issue you a ticket and court summons regardless of any existing public urination laws on the books in that jurisdiction, so you'll want to avoid even the appearance of urinating in public.  Even if your back is turned to them, they can still use any apology you give (i.e. - "Uhh, sorry officer!") as well as the smell, sound or sight of urine as evidence against you.  🙄  So be sure to exercise your right to remain silent in the event you're approached while peeing.

The absolute state of policing in America.  

In Mississippi, a 10-year-old boy was given 3 months' probation for this "crime" after being handcuffed & locked in a cell for nearly an hour by 5 officers.  He was subsequently forced to write a 2-page essay & check in with the judge once a month.  His defense claims he was unfairly targeted due to his race--the child was Black & the son of a Black Lives Matter member.  All this for allegedly relieving himself discreetly in a small town parking lot.  Indeed, police are known for handing out sentences for minor offenses such as traffic violations, jaywalking & "public urination" while letting big shit like domestic violence & sex offenses slide, so don't think it couldn't happen to you.  Plenty of other people have been taken to court for urinating in parking lots & other public locations.

This becomes doubly unfair when you consider the U.S.'s dire lack of public restrooms.  Homeless people, public revelers & pretty much anyone who leaves their homes & at some point acquires a full bladder puts themselves at risk for having to relieve themselves in public.  And as stated earlier, women cannot simply "whip it out" anywhere or go in a bottle in the car.  This is where wetting oneself becomes a seriously legit option (and sometimes the ONLY option).  With CCTV popping up in more & more public places, pretty soon it'll be impossible to discreetly pee in public without getting caught by the fuzz.  



Avoiding Fines, Arrest & Humiliation

How it's done 

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  If you're going to be in a potentially sketchy pee situation like a long road trip, wear a diaper (ladies) or bring enough empty containers to pee in (guys).  Adult diapers come in all sizes/thicknesses & can be every bit as stealthy as a Maxi pad, totally invisible under jeans or pants.  Or if you prefer, just fold up a bunch of thick beach towels & wet yourself through a skirt or polyester bicycle shorts/tights while driving.  This is a better option than stopping at some creepy, rundown truckstop in the middle of nowhere that may not even HAVE a public restroom (or one that's safe/clean anyway).  You can also try rigging up a "car toilet" (shallow container that you squat over while your car is parked) like this lady did, but this can get messy if you're not really careful & adds time to your trip as you have to stop.  Always beware of your surroundings if you pull your pants down to urinate, even inside your car.  Cops may not be the worst thing you have to contend with in such situations, particularly if you're a woman traveling alone.  💛

Drinking less fluids is an option but do not dehydrate yourself or you risk side effects like headache, brain fog & urinary tract infection.  Ditto "holding it" beyond what is comfortable--avoid this as it's not good for your bladder & can even lead to incontinence in the long run.  Exposing yourself to pee on the side of the road or elsewhere outside a bathroom is the least messy option but you risk arrest or assault, especially in highly populated or unfamiliar areas.  Be VERY careful if you go this route. 

Getting a lil' carried away with the car wetting 😉

 

Wetting yourself is messy but SAFE, both in legal, health & personal safety terms.  If you wear the right color and fabric nobody will notice a thing, and staying hydrated with plenty of plain water ensures that your pee will be clear & nearly odorless.  Dudes can simply bring enough containers with lids to urinate in but women generally don't have this option.  If you need extra cover, bring an extra long shirt or jacket to tie around your waist & have an extra bottle of water to dump in your lap to further disguise any "accidents".  This works in almost any setting, from pub crawls and packed NYE/downtown parties to outdoorsy camping, hiking or cycling events to long car trips.  I guess if it's freezing cold outside you might get a little uncomfortable sporting soaked pants but hey, that's what diapers are for.  

To prevent this situation altogether, try to anticipate and plan ahead before embarking on a potentially risky adventure.  Avoid getting pissy drunk (pun intended) as this increases urgency & reduces inhibitions, upping the likelihood you'll do something impulsive & get in trouble.  Caffeine is another bladder irritant with diuretic effects so skip it when on the road or in another sketchy bladder situation.  And never miss an opportunity to use the restroom when one is available, even if you don't need to go.  While this may not be necessary at home, you'll be glad you did in these close-call situations with long bathroom lines, sparse toilets or other hurdles to relieving yourself.  

Risks of holding your pee: nothing to play with.

Lastly, there are truly situations where there's nowhere to go BUT your pants; when cops, cameras or other forms of surveillance make pulling your pants down impossible yet a toilet is inaccessible for one reason or another.  While embarrassing, it's best to "go with the flow" in these situations rather than crying & beating yourself up as it does no good & only draws more unwanted attention to yourself.  There's a certain strength in knowing when the battle is lost & surrendering to nature's call.  Forcing yourself to hold to the point of pain is not healthy in the short or long-term--a fact that's been confirmed by professionals time and again.  (See list of pee-holding risks above).  Do your best to avoid these situations but be kind to yourself when they arise.  Notice I said when, not if.   Try to view it as a learning experience & remember that everyone has accidents at some point either in adulthood or as a child... or has come very close to it.  Nobody is thinking about what's going on in your pants even 1/100th as much as you are, I promise.   💛