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Seeing different peoples' attitudes to wetting is one of my fave things about reading Omo stories. (True ones, not fictional). Some of us were raised in more lenient households while for others, wetting was a mortal sin punishable by spankings & other borderline abusive things. People raised in the former type of house tend to be a lot more calm about peeing where one shouldn't with less attendant anxiety. However, the added risk/taboo nature of wetting in strict homes only adds to the attraction for some.
I'd say my upbringing had a bit of both. On the one hand, we had places & situations we were specifically given permission to wet, & our parents were never shy about peeing w/ the door open. On the other, I did get "spanked" (read: hit w/ full force by my dad's hand) once for wetting as a kid. And my mom was verbally abusive when she found my wet clothes when I was older.
Here's a rundown of what pee things were allowed vs. forbidden in my house:
Allowed: Peeing in the swimsuit/pool, bath tub, shower. In fact, we were TOLD to pee in the pool because the bathroom was nasty/dangerous according to my mom. I took full advantage, wetting any time we played in the sprinkler, Slip-n-Slide, river, pond, water park, little plastic pool & actual public pool. If I did use the bathroom, I'd pee through my swimsuit. This became second nature & never felt even the slightest bit naughty. I always pissed in the shower/tub and sometimes stayed behind until the water drained out completely to pee in the empty tub.
Not Allowed: Wetting clothes in on dry land; using diapers. Wetting in bed, car, anywhere in public (other than swimsuit). Got hit after repeatedly pissing my pants at home. I once asked to be diapered because "it was only fair" since my brother was--then I got sent to bed early like a "baby". Hating this, I got up and took the diaper off and never used it.
For me, the fantasy of being given "permission" to wet is the ultimate, yet I have no actual desire to pee in front of my parents (or in public to any degree). This is why I do the ABDL Mommy thing: to give people the freedom they may have never had growing up. Or scold/humiliate them if they want THAT and didn't get it. The fantasy of having an authority figure involved in your playtime--scolding you, granting permission, controlling your bladder or where you pee--is a common one that probably harkens back to potty training. IDK, I'm not a psychologist and don't play one on the internet. But that freedom to wet, having your health/comfort/convenience placed above the fear of "making a mess" is very attractive.
EXAMPLES:
"Oh honey, I know you tried your best to hold but please don't hurt yourself. We can clean up when we get home."
"There's 20 minutes to go IF traffic lets up. There's no way we'll make it to the rest stop any faster. Just pee."
"I mean, you're already wet. Might as well go ahead and finish and we'll clean up later".
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