Can't Wet Yourself? Try This:

 I often see newbies, both to diapers and pants-wetting, complain that they canNOT manage to let go and wet themselves no matter what they do.  Or maybe they can in certain positions or settings but have a specific "way" they haven't been able to master.  Please understand this is completely normal.  Having a strong mental aversion to pissing your pants is what we're trained to do from potty-training on up.  Also keep in mind it takes a LOT of practice to overcome this aversion for most people & there is no fast-track or shortcut.

Even if you've been wetting for years, it's still possible to struggle with letting go in certain scenarios, such as in a car or (in your diaper) with lots of people around.  I've been an Omo enthusiast since toddler days & still have to use some of these 'training wheel' methods to get my flow started even in diapers I know won't leak.  My most challenging position is lying in bed:  I usually have to do something to get it going even after all these years.  However I know if I was determined I could eventually master it; I just haven't given it the required attention yet.


Here are a few tips and tricks to get the flow started in any position or setting:

Touch Yourself:  Rubbing your genitals gently can help stimulate the flow of urine for some people (me included).  Or you can try gently massaging that space at the top of your bum crack.  This is where the pudendal nerve resides and stimulating it can help relax your bladder sphincter muscles. 

Apply the Pressure:  You can also try putting some pressure on your bladder by setting a text book, laptop or other lightweight-but-solid item atop it, or just (again, gently) massaging your lower abdomen with your hands.

The sound of low-pressure water running can help you wet.

The Sound of Water:  Turn on a faucet, but only on a very low setting, letting it splash & drizzle gently, mimicking the way a pee stream would sound.  Or if you find that you need to pee instantly when getting in the bath/shower (I do), turn the shower on for moral support.  There are also apps like Rainymood.com, audio of babbling brooks and actual pee sounds on Youtube, some lasting up to 10 hours on a loop. 

This age-old party trick can work wonders for some!

Hand in Warm/Cool Water:  An extension of the previous point, putting your hand in water can sometimes stimulate bladder release.  This is a longstanding trick at sleepovers & definitely works for some.  Use water that's slightly warmer or cooler than room temperature for best effects.

Get More Desperate:  This never hurts.  Being extremely desperate and having a full bladder makes it much easier to let go and pee.  If you find that water just isn't doing the trick (or is taking too long), consider adding a small amount of a diuretic like some watermelon slices, dandelion tea, lemon water or caffeine. Just listen to your body & don't overdo it.

Give a Little Push:  While it's definitely not a good idea to get into the habit of straining to pee, doing so once or twice won't hurt most healthy people.  Just bear down like you're trying to poop & it should come flying out because as they say:  "All poo times are pee times but not all pee times are poo times".  (Just make sure you don't actually need to poop).

Interact with the toilet to trigger your need to pee.

Go to the Toilet:  Sit on it with pants on, stand there & look at it, give it a flush--many people find that simply seeing the toilet triggers their need to urinate while others can easily get there by sitting on an open toilet or acting as if they were going to pee (standing up, boy-style) in front of it.  Go as far as pulling your pants down and starting to pee and then pulling them back up if necessary.

Breathe Deeply:  Once you're already desperate to wee, take a deep breath and exhale about 75% of the air in your lungs, then hold your remaining breath for 30 seconds.  Allegedly this causes muscle relaxation and loss of control.  Be sure to time yourself so you don't hold your breath TOO long and faint.  

Watch vids of other people peeing their pants to get your own stream started.

Watch Others Wet:  Seeing vids of people flooding their pants in real-time can provide quite the encouragement, especially if the video features lots of pee sounds, moaning and other audio.

Rinse Your Perineum:  I'd never heard of this but it's recommended as a way to stimulate urine flow, especially after giving birth.  Your perineum = your "taint," or that piece of skin between your anus and genitals.  Use comfortably warm water & either spray your periuneum with a spray bottle or use your hands to apply the water directly.

Stand Up & Let Gravity Take Hold:  If you need to give a urine sample or hold for an ultrasound, the doctor or nurse will often instruct you to stand up and walk around to help the water hit your bladder faster.  You can also walk or do other standing tasks to allow gravity to do its thang.  

Bladder massage or light touch in this area can help you lose control.

Tickle/Light Touch:  While it's kinda impossible to tickle yourself, you can pick a ticlklish area on your body and run your fingers or fingernails lightly over it for a similar effect.  Also try this on your inner thighs, lower abdomen or crotch area. 

Give Yourself Permission:  It sounds obvious but verbally saying to yourself "It's okay to wet your pants" can help you overcome that last bit of resistance, especially if your caregivers were strict or harsh about pee growing up.  Try roleplaying it a bit and pretend an authority figure is giving child-you permission to let go--perhaps the permission you always craved but never got IRL:  Something like "Hey buddy, need to pee?  I can see that you're doing your best to hold it but if you have to go, just go.  It's better than harming your kidneys & we can always clean it up later.  I won't tell anyone."  Literally say these things out loud or whisper them to yourself for best results. 

Additional Advice

Be specific about position, setting & other aspects of your goal.

It always helps to be clear and realistic about your goals going in.  Understanding that these times in which you use these "training wheel" methods are strictly intended to help you pee your pants easier builds patience for what might ultimately be a long process.  Repetition is key, and it may get a tad frustrating at times.  Therefore you shouldn't necessarily expect a super-sexy wetting that leads to orgasm every time.  (That can happen once you've got the ability to pee in your desired setting down pat--this, however, is all about training yourself to wet on command or in a specific position or setting).  It may not be glamorous or sexy right now is all I'm saying.  Regardless, keep soldiering on until you get it.  Trying these methods when you have total privacy will ensure best results too.  The mental fear of "getting caught" can be a real (and justified) roadblock for those with roommates.

This is definitely a case of practice making perfect.  The more often you can wet yourself in general, the easier it becomes to let go regardless of setting or other factors.  The more often you can practice wetting in your specific challenging position or setting, the better too.  Making sure your diaper or other protective mechanism (pee pad, incontinence mat) works well goes a long way toward giving you peace of mind to truly let go as well.  Practicing full body relaxation & being kind to yourself by acknowledging your tenacity & progress may also help put you in the proper mindset to piss your pants easily.  Once you start beating yourself up or taking it too seriously, the pressure is on.  And not the kind of pressure you want when trying to master something like this.