There are few times in life we can truly "get away" with peeing our pants. Sure, maybe during pregnancy or the rare, once-in-a-blue-moon "bathroom occupied" situation. But overall, people tend to get judgy if we have accidents too often. Or they laugh. Hard. One general exception is while you're laid up in bed too sick or injured to go to the bathroom.
These times are genuinely not fun and can be miserable due to, well, being sick or in serious pain. But you can use them as a cover for 'accidents' too. It may not be as exciting as when you're feeling your best, but it can be quite convenient & at times safer than getting up and stumbling around while unwell. Just be prepared to clean up after yourself if you live with strict or unempathetic housemates. ❤🩹
Many symptoms of illness/injury can be used to excuse or explain away wetting accidents, such as:
- Coughing + sneezing = leaking(!). So common there's a word for it: "Peezing".
- Fatigue: "I was too tired and weak to make it." (Or just wet yourself while "asleep" & feign shock when you wake up).
- Pain: "OMG the (affected area) hurts so bad when I stand up or walk! But I need to pee! Fuck I''m not gonna make it!"
- Nausea/diarrhea: While lying on the bathroom floor or hugging the trash can, just say you lost control of your bladder. Or some variation of "I can't get up or I'll puke/I lost control of my bladder."
- Apparently the inflammation from COVID can trigger incontinence in some people; this is especially true if you're coughing/sneezing a lot & your pelvic floor is under pressure. Relevant right now as the nimbus & stratus variants wind their way through the population.
- Medication side effects. Some drugs can affect bladder function, including older sedating antihistamines, sleep aids, the opioids in prescription cough syrup or some pain meds, decongestants & others you may use while sick or at other times. While some meds have a diuretic effect, many of the ones listed above cause incontinence via the overflow mechanism, i.e. when urinary retention leads to an "overflow" of the bladder and thus, accidents.
Real-World Examples
From fever dreams to fatigue, many illnesses can mess with bladder function.
If you have a UTI (urinary tract infection, that's perhaps the best excuse to wet because these infections directly affect urinary function. Drink as much water as you comfortably can and pee as often as needed, both to prevent the infection from worsening AND just because you "can". (And don't wait around to get medical treatment as bladder infection can spread to the kidneys & become deadly).
You may choose to simply wear a diaper while under the weather or in pain. You wouldn't be the 1st. This saves you both the hassle of getting up to pee AND cleaning up after yourself. Some women wear them for heavy menstrual periods, which can save your clothing/furniture if you're a heavy bleeder AND allows you to avoid getting up to pee if you suffer severe menstrual cramps. Or if you're male, a pee bottle/container on the nightstand can come in real handy in a pinch in times of pain or sickness.
Nursing a hangover or being drunk to the point of getting "the spins" can provide an opportunity to pee in non-toilet places too. You're clumsy, nauseated, dizzy & disoreinted--you probably wouldn't make it anyway! If you have a trashcan handy, use it as a temporary toilet. (Hey, if puking in a trash can is considered okay, peeing in one should be too. Pee is not a disease vector like vomit.... smell is the only real downside). Blackout drunkenness offers yet another cover for pissing yourself & then not even remembering the next day, though getting that drunk is definitely not safe or good for you. ("Pretending" to be super intoxicated provides the same benefits where wetting is concerned.... just saying).
I've def had times with influenza where I coughed & peed a little despite not having stress incontinence otherwise. My body was just like "Nope" and gave up. Also felt like I was gonna vomit, faint & DIE at the same time, but thankfully didn't. And I've seen firsthand stories by people who've been given permission to wet while laid up with a broken bone. Crutches, casts, slings & other things can be helpful but also cumbersome, making it easier to just GO where you sit/lie. And of course more serious injuries causing severe back, neck or spine pain can make getting up impossible. Been there too. Rig up a makeshift bedpan and make it work.
I like to keep a "First Aid Kit" of essential items by my bed in case of illness, of which my pee mat is definitely one. And diapers if I can afford them. I usually just end up using them all when I'm not sick though. I can say they've helped me through some genuinely awful illnesses as well though. The important thing is being kind to yourself & not pushing yourself too hard. When sick or injured, our bodies devote all their extra "resources" (energy, immune function, metabolic processes) to getting better. Trying to "push through" can turn a temporary setback into a more severe or chronic issue. Rest, hydrate, don't hold your pee & put your healing first! So what if you tinkle in your pants or another "forbidden" location? You weren't at your best because you were hurting or sick!
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