So you just found out your spouse, friend, partner or child has a "piss kink". You may have learned this incidentally or against your will, but now there's no going back. You know, and now you're looking for answers... support.... anything. What causes a piss kink and is there any way to get rid of it? How could someone be turned on by a bodily waste, and does it point to other possible mental issues?
Everyone has things that turn them on and off. These things are not a matter of choice but a complex interplay between nature & nurture, aka, genetics & experience. Often those "experiences" happened before we had conscious memories so we may not know why we're into a given thing. Fetishes or "kinks" are an abnormally strong attraction to a certain, highly-specific thing (feet, spanking, etc) that is persistent over time & unusually intense. While everyone has turn-ons, not everyone has fetishes/kinks. As far as kinks go, urolagnia (pee kink) is pretty mild. Some people are necrophiliacs, others into bestiality, vampirism or coprophilia. I'll let you look those up. 🧟 🐴 🧛 💩
A "piss kink" can refer to so many different activities it's nearly worthless alone as a descriptor. Pants wetting, naked peeing in places other than the toilet, diaper pissing, pee drinking/being peed on... those are just SOME of the many variations. Not all piss kinksters are into all of these; in fact, most aren't. And their reasons for liking a specific pee-related activity are also varied. Some are into the sensory aspect--the sound, warmth, smell, etc. Others find the relief orgasmic. Still others are into the total loss of control and taboo aspect and another subgroup find things like wearing or wetting diapers to be comforting or relaxing. There are as many variations on the piss kink theme as there are people. Urine drinking is undoubtedly among the most risky, and even that is unlikely to harm a healthy person when done in moderation. Extreme holding/desperation can also be bad for bladder/kidney health over time. But in the grand scheme of fetishes and bodily fluids, this one is relatively benign.
Attitudes Toward Pee: Not Always Logical
Fetishes--and aversions--are not always rational.
On the flip side, having a strong aversion to urine is not necessarily natural. We all start out in this life wetting ourselves until potty training, and many return to this state as incontinence & old age set in. Yet we all feign disgust or amusement at the topic of wetting/peeing in the intervening years. Why? While urine has a somewhat off-putting smell, it's not a disease carrier like feces, vomit, blood, semen, vaginal fluid or breast milk. Therefore there's no biological basis for being disgusted by it. The outsized disgust responses is largely a product of social conditioning. Just look how popular porn containing anal sex, oral-anal contact, swallowing semen or other possibly unhealthy acts is. All these are more "unhygienic" & risky in terms of disease transmission than ANY form of pee play!
How To Handle Learning About Someone's Piss Kink
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| This can be humiliating. Please be kind. |
In light of all this, the real question might be "Why are so many people so grossed out by pee?" The answer is simple: we don't choose our aversions any more than we choose our turn-ons. They're not logical & no amount of dry factual information is likely to change them. You have every right to refuse to participate in someone's fetish or to find it disgusting... at least privately. If someone discloses this highly personal info to you (or you find out on your own against THEIR will), do not chide or criticize them. It won't change anything & will only drive a wedge between you or make them hate themselves. Just as you didn't choose your turn-offs, they didn't choose this.
If a partner pressures you to participate after you've made it clear you aren't interested, they're being inconsiderate & thinking only of their desires. Not good. And if they waited until you were married or in love to disclose this "requirement," that's also manipulative. Using it as an excuse to breech relationship boundaries (like not sexy-chatting with people online) is also a problem. In that case, it's not the pee fetish that's the problem but the fact that your intimate partner doesn't care about your boundaries & is putting their sexual pleasure above your feelings/the relationship. And those things ARE red flags.
That said, not everyone with this fetish wants their partner to participate, and some are ashamed or don't even want them to know. (I fall into this group, though I also don't hide my affinity for wetting/pee if the subject comes up). In this case, they're under no obligation to disclose it because it doesn't involve you. It's merely a variation of normal sexuality, provided they clean up after themselves & keep it private. Even in committed relationships we're all entitled to engage in masturbation or other private sexual activities without our partner or anyone else, so unless it's somehow hindering your sexual relationship, leave it be. Let them bring it up if they feel the need rather than treating it as an "honesty" issue in the relationship. NOT disclosing it is not a sign of deceit but self-preservation.
And no, a piss kink doesn't point to a psychological disorder or moral failing. There's nothing dangerous about it from a health perspective, and it's not inherently illegal/criminal. And if YOU yourself have this kink, don't think you can just turn it off or "get rid" of it. At best you can abstain from watching pee porn or engaging in pee play yourself, but that won't change the underlying attraction to it. Focus instead on moderation and self-acceptance. If you require a partner who indulges in this with you, tell them upfront. Yes it can be embarrassing but it beats wasting their time & yours in a sexually-incompatible relationship and "hoping" they'll be into it too, which is highly unlikely. In order to achieve true acceptance, we've gotta dispense with the secrecy & selfish behavior.
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