A conversation that comes up often on wetting sites and chats is "Should I tell my partner I wet myself on purpose?" & "I'd D I E if I ever got caught!" or variations thereof. Indeed, the guilt/shame factor associated with this fetish (actually classified as a full-on paraphilia by professionals, though it's a victimless act unlike other -"philias": pedo, necro, etc) is high for a lot of participants. While this can add to the sexy taboo factor, it can also leave you with a dirty feeling or the belief that something must be wrong with you. No wonder: telling kids they've been "bad" or are naughty when they have an accident during potty training is a key component of teaching them to use the toilet. Accidents after that point are considered completely socially unacceptable.
If you're not one of those people & are fine with your wetting habits, good for you. Genuinely. Self-acceptance is not always easy to come by in this age of bullying & mass conformity. But if you ARE one of those people who low key hates yourself for this secret pleasure, read on. I'm gonna drip-drop some cold (or should I say WARM?), wet piss facts on your head to hopefully help offset a lifetime of harmful conditioning.
Set & Setting: A Common Sense Guide
1st things 1st: Some things are for adults & should remain restricted to certain times/places. That doesn't mean they're evil or dirty: Burlesque, racy drag shows, loud concerts or other events involving drugs/alcohol (or references to these things), guns & violence, pornographic material and anything especially brash & low-brow are not appropriate for kids below a certain age & should be enjoyed at the appropriate time and place. But these things can be VERY enjoyable & inspiring for adults. Some would even consider these activities regenerative or spiritual in nature.
Likewise, sexual kinks are a private pleasure not meant to be shared with the general populace. They haven't consented to participating in your sexual play or fantasy & might be genuinely traumatized by seeing or hearing about a fetish like omorashi. However, that doesn't make your tastes WRONG or bad. Context is everything--time and place and audience. Sex in general is a private act: the ultimate form of intimacy between 2 or more people. It's considered a loving act in the bedroom but a crime in the street. So when you're talking about extremely specific sexual kinks, fetishes & paraphilias that aren't shared by the general public, the need for privacy & discreetness grows even more important.
A thing is only wrong or bad if it creates an unwilling victim.... If it harms another person's mind or body in the process of engaging in it. An example since homophobes are often confused: Being gay isn't wrong/evil just because some people are grossed out by gay sex acts. It's natural in every sense of the word: over 200 animal species engage in it. But child molestation is one of the most hated acts in society even among inmates. It's both immoral AND illegal. Why? C O N S E N T, or the lack thereof. Kids can't consent to sex with adults. Sure, you might find it repulsive & not understand why or how someone could be attracted to minors, but that's neither here nor there. Simply finding a thing sickening does not make it inherently bad, even if the vast majority of people don't "get" it or think it's weird/gross. Being a sexual minority is not wrong or bad, nor is it a choice. Trying to win converts or normalize it by subjecting non-consenting people to your kink IS. (And if your sexual kink/preference is illegal, it's both immoral & illegal to engage in it either privately or publicly).
But beyond that? There's NOTHING wrong with this little hobby of ours. Not one thing. It's not inherently sadistic or exhibitionistic & doesn't break any laws (again, as long as it's done in private with consenting parties). It's not dirty in the health sense either: unlike, say, coprophilia or Clinical Vampirism (yes that's a thingggg). Check out this Wikipedia list of paraphilias and see for yourself: we're pretty tame in the grand scheme of things. Most of us aren't even pee drinkers. Omo lovers are generally into the sensory aspect--how it sounds, the warm wetness--combined with the social taboo & the release. Maybe there's a throwback to early wetting memories in there somewhere. But nothing that involves causing pain, fear, actual torture or trauma to others. Aside from those who fail to launder their dirty garments & allow their house to smell of old urine, this fetish is pretty "clean" & harms no one.
On the other hand, if this sexual kink has become a compulsion/addiction and is interfering with your relationships, health, finances or overall quality of life, it may be time to seek professional help from someone who specializes in sex addiction. One major clue to distinguishing a healthy hobby from an addiction is: have you experienced measurable negative outcomes yet still can't stop or significantly reduce your engagement in the behavior on your own? If yes, it's likely venturing into addiction territory.
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Pee FACTS:
- While not "sterile," urine is not a disease vector like feces, blood, breastmilk or semen. Our revulsion toward it as a species is a relic of social/emotional modeling; a conditioned response because it's a bodily waste that comes out of our 'no-no parts'. While it's understandable that everyone isn't turned on by it, the outsized disgust response is out of proportion to its actual harm. The smell isn't great but beyond that, it's pretty inoffensive considering some of the kinks people get into (see Wiki link above).
- For women, a full bladder puts pressure on the g-spot which can feel REALLY good. Masturbating in this state can lead to a peegasm, which feels REALLY REALLY good. (The "peegasm" that pearl-clutching blogtors are warning about in articles like this is NOT what we pee fetishists have been whacking it to on porn sites forever but merely a new way to shame & scare women about their sexuality. Anyone going to that length for some cheap thrills needs to find a new sex partner or invest in a vibrator, stat. I wouldn't even call that sexual pleasure, actually. It's just the relief you feel after needing to pee for a long time. A real peegasm doesn't require a super long hold and is far, far better than the "shivers" you get from just peeing with a full bladder. I question whether these ladies have ever had an actual orgasm to compare this "pee-relief" to. And that makes me sad).
- On that note, "squirt" or female ejaculate liquid, comes from the urethra just like urine (and has been found to contain tiny traces of the liquid gold) but very few men or others find that disgusting. Ditto semen. How does this double standard make ANY sense? You'll consume, bathe in & fetishize one bodily fluid that comes from the prostate/urethra but vilify another? 🤔
- There's a general cultural phobia of pee holding, with the claim being that it'll render you incontinent or otherwise ruin your health. This "Not Even Once" mindset is nonsense. While ANYTHING can be overdone, the occasional hold will not harm a healthy person as long as they drink adequate amounts of water daily & keep their urethra free of bacteria & inflammation (wipe properly, avoid bubble bath, etc). In fact, doctors often tell people with a small or overactive bladder to practice waiting as long as they comfortably can before peeing to help condition themselves. Ultrasound techs-in-training take turns holding so they can undergo the procedure for their colleagues. The problem comes with daily "extreme" holds that stretch the bladder out of its natural shape & desensitize the brain to that "gotta go" urge.
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| Scare-mongering from the fetish community 🙄 |
Like any muscle, the bladder gets stronger with exercise but can also be overexerted; stretched beyond its limits & damaged. The healthy adult bladder can hold about 2 cups (16 oz.) of urine safely. Holding to the point of pain or real uncontrollable wetting daily or even weekly is probably not a great idea. But letting yourself get a little desperate & then relieving yourself before pain sets in every once in a while is not going to cause kidney failure or bladder rupture. Just admit you find this kink disgusting and quit spreading baseless fear. (To the genius upthread who suggested CATHETER-insertion as a safer alternative to holding: stop. So inserting a foreign object with all its attendant risks of infection & injury is--checks notes--BETTER for you than simply waiting too long to pee? I think tf not. Sounds like a case of "my fetish is better than yours neener neener)." 👊🏼
- The majority of female pheromones (sexually arousing neurosteroids that attract mates), including estratetraenol, are concentrated in urine, specifically pregnant women's pee. With that in mind, it's surprising MORE people aren't turned on by piss! As a lesbian I'm VERY attracted to peeing women. Men's pheromones are mostly concentrated in underarm sweat. You'd have to ask a straight woman or gay man if they find sweaty man-smell hot but I can definitively say that's a NO from me dawg. ⛹🏾♂ 🏋🚫
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To Disclose or Not to Disclose?
The "should I tell my partner?" question is trickier to answer. Only you know how they're likely to respond & whether the risk is worth the potential reward. Examine your motivation: are you telling them because you feel it's wrong to keep secrets, or because you want/need your partner to engage in this with you to have a fulfilling sex life? If the former, let me disabuse you of that notion right now. Your private sexual kinks are your business alone. You don't owe it to anyone, including your partner or spouse, to disclose what kind of things you think about or do in your most private moments. It's a sexual kink/fantasy, not a "secret." It's only "cheating" if you're violating the ground rules of your relationship, such as engaging in sexy chat with other omo fans.
If desperation/wetting is central to your sex life, you may have to find ways to indulge solo or seek out a like-minded partner if yours isn't into it. Either way, I'd suggest only telling a long-term (2+ years) partner you trust very much, and even then only after testing the waters so to speak. Break it to them gradually after seeing how they react to tamer pee-related hints/comments, or discussion about other fetishes/kinks If they seem repulsed, respect their boundaries and STOP there. Your relationship could depend on it but more importantly, they have a right to not have their comfort zone violated. You also have a right to your sexual pleasure provided it's not infringing on anyone's rights/comfort zone. So a compromise will need to be made if they're not into it.
Communication is vital here. You can't change a person's core sexual turn-ons & revulsions. Realize that a negative response to your fetish doesn't mean YOU'RE bad or that your turn-ons are wrong, just that they don't jibe with that particular person's brain wiring. We all have things that fall outside our "Ick, NEVER!" zone. That doesn't make it okay to mock or put you down over this, mind you, but it might be a libido-killer for a person who is 100% not into it. Reassure them you won't pester them to engage with this kink but aren't willing to give it up or sneak around like a criminal either. Do your best to clean up & not involve them in any way when you indulge. That's all you can do. Giving up vital parts of yourself to be in a relationship is a slippery slope. If they expect you to, it's time to head for the door. Relationships, at least healthy ones, are all about compromise.
Being disgusted by something is no more a choice than being turned on by it. Being a dick about either of those things is.
How comfortable (or not) are you with your interest in omo? Do the people in your real life know? If so, are they supportive?
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